Here is the next Facebook in the original series. I’ll add a few thoughts along the way 🙂
Last week, I had experiences which resembled an episode, except I would not categorize them as “psychotic”. I was making connections that may or may not have been real, but all along I was conscious that I was making those connections, and also aware that they may be delusions. I was able to choose which ones to act upon and which ones to ignore until later. Upon later reflection, I dismissed many of them as meaningless (at least for now).
You may have noticed the page listed at the top of each blog post called “Pebbles & Stones”. On that page, I do my best to record my actions and significant thoughts from the previous day. My dear friends (and in particular, my mother) can monitor that page to keep an eye on me and let me know if anything jumps out at them of concern. Knowing that they’ve “got my back” in this way gives me confidence to walk a little more freely. Where I used to be very rigid with the schedule for my medications and sleep, I’ve been able to relax a bit… and so far things are still going well.
There was a time (not so long ago) when I would have told you that I was sure of nothing – that I could not know anything for certain. This was because all that I had thought and believed was challenged when I came to understand that I had experienced psychosis. My faith in everything was shaken, and I feared I would be helpless in this way forever. Thankfully, I no longer feel that way – a combination of the right medications and the help of friends and counselors has given me the confidence to believe that my mind is not lost… it was only “reorganized” a bit. 🙂